Losing my religion. Why I recently walked away from Christianity. By theBEattitude
http://thebeattitude.com/2009/05/28/losing-my-religion-why-i-walked-away-from-christianity/
I was planning to write up a detailed story about my Christian life and the recent rejection of my faith. But my goal is not to build a case to prove I believed in God or to demonstrate how good of a Christian I was. I did truly believe in God for most of my life and worshiped and prayed to him daily. I believed he was at work in my life at all times and using me to touch other people’s lives.
So you might be wondering what changed.
The change was a culmination of things that I could no longer ignore. Faith is belief in the unseen and unprovable, but still requires a foundation for that faith. With the countless religions of the world, I began to question why the god of the Bible is more believable than all other gods worshiped on earth. With the mountain of evidence staring me in the face, my faith began to die.
Last fall, I finally moved past guilt and admitted to myself that I no longer believe in Jesus or the god of the Bible. Surprisingly it was a relief. Not because I wanted to run wild and sin freely, but because I no longer felt the weight a Christian carries. The weight of guilt, unworthiness and fear of god’s judgement. I continue to spend my days striving to be a good husband, father and son. I help others in need around me as often as I can. The big difference is I do these things today because it brings me joy, not because I believe it brings an imaginary god joy.
For those wondering, here is a condensed “Top 20 List” of the things that led to my rejection of Christianity.
God is wrathful, jealous, hateful, and kills nations of people like it is a bodily function. He is certainly not just or “holy” in nature.
The act of throwing people into infinite torture and punishment for not believing a Jewish guy from 2,000 years ago was God’s son, or unknowingly worshiping the wrong god, is extremely cruel and sadistic.
The statements, “God works in mysterious ways,” or “It will all make sense in heaven,” are little more than irrational cop outs. This God allows horrible atrocities to be committed against innocent men, women and children every day.
Bloody animal and human sacrifices are illogical demands by a divine god as payment for petty wrong doings. These actions are no different than the rituals of archaic pagan religions. Not to mention the bizarre ritual of symbolically drinking human blood and eating human flesh.
If God loves us and wants us to know and believe in him, why be so completely invisible? What is the purpose of being so illusive to those who believe and worship him?
God never manifests himself or performs miracles as he regularly did for the Israelites in Old Testament stories.
Prayers are never answered. Certainly not in the way Jesus described. Prayer has absolutely no affect on the world around us.
Jesus did not fulfill major Old Testament prophesies or even fulfill his own promises and predictions.
The authors of much of the Bible are unknown. And of these unknown authors, the men who wrote the gospels likely never even met Jesus considering they were written 40-70 years after his death. A far cry from reliable testimony.
The Bible is repeatedly contradictory with itself, reality, and the laws of morality. Couldn’t God inspire a less poorly written book?
The Bible is open to interpretation. Everyone interprets it in the way that suits them best or serves their purposes.
Throughout history, Christians have justified horrific actions by the Bible and its teaching.
The Bible promotes hate and persecution against women, homosexuals and those who worship other gods or no god at all.
According to the Bible, nearly 70% percent of the people in the world will burn in hell because they don’t believe Jesus was the son of God.
The only reason I was a Christian was because I was indoctrinated into the religion as a child as a result of the culture and region of the world in which I was born.
Christianity has no more rational or factual foundation than any other religion on earth that I openly reject.
The Christian church is disjointed and can’t even agree with one another.
Christians are not at all ethically or morally different from non-Christians.
Today, powerful church leaders steal, lie and molest young children. The church repeatedly attempts to cover up these atrocities, only to reluctantly apologize as a last resort.
It is absolutely irrational to continue to believe archaic teaching with the amount of knowledge we’ve gained through science and technology. The Bible reads like a book of primitive folklore, not divinely inspired insight into our true reason for existence.
5/11/2009
http://boggywoggyscache.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html
I did a quick search to see if I'd ever written about her. You have to scroll down the page a bit to see my reference to her when submitting a "hush puppies" recipe.
Dorothy Pearl Gilmore is one tough mo-fo.
She's my grandmother. Born April 14, 1919 in Oklahoma.
Lived through a lot of hard times.
Raised 4 kids, basically on her own.
At one time 6 grandchildren ran through her house. Later, 4 more joined ranks.
She was crass and crazy. She was lovnig and mean. She had a good heart.
Today, her good heart is failing.
She was sent home from the hospital to be comfortable. Her doctor is either a prick or a saint...I'm not sure which. Hopefully, she'll be pain-free.
Should I go back to help? I don't know. It will only bring on extreme stress and pain.
If I don't go, will I regret it? I don't know.
I feel very guilty about everything involving this horrid, bitter, mentally-ill woman. I have geared my own life toward NOT becoming her...including taking DAILY medication in order to make sure I sleep and don't suffer anxiety attacks such as those I had thorughout my 20's and early 30's. I was very ill during those times...just like she is ALL of the time.
She would take long walks at 3:30 a.m., peering into neighbors' windows to get a look inside at their decor. She would find pennies on the roadway and mail them to my young son, so he could save money for his next visit out to see her.
She began gluing magazine cut-outs on the exterior of her home about 8 years ago and has managed to cover the entire front of her house. Windows, doors, siding...it's all covered. I was embarrassed and amazed, all at the same time. Whenever I assign any collage word as a teacher, it is her I see in my mind's eye. Whenever I feel like picking up a rubber boot and hurling it through a window, (well, I've actually followed through on this act), it was her I saw.
I know her voice. It talked with me about sewing, shared horrible stories about other family members, made fun of me for gaining weight, laughed a little too loud at gatherings, forgot to say "thank you" for gifts, rode my mother for all of her shortcomings, and told me I was special. Her hands taught me to crochet. She made me clothes, quilts, blankets, rugs, and clothespin holders. She bought me a pack of gum and then took it away from me before I could open it, because I "wasn't as nice as she thought I should be." She asked if we wanted a Dilly Bar from Dq...and then drove us out to the highway to collect enough bottles to return for the deposit so we could buy our own bars.
NEXT MORNING UPDATE: Dorothy P. White-Gilmore passed away on May 12, 2209.
I did a quick search to see if I'd ever written about her. You have to scroll down the page a bit to see my reference to her when submitting a "hush puppies" recipe.
Dorothy Pearl Gilmore is one tough mo-fo.
She's my grandmother. Born April 14, 1919 in Oklahoma.
Lived through a lot of hard times.
Raised 4 kids, basically on her own.
At one time 6 grandchildren ran through her house. Later, 4 more joined ranks.
She was crass and crazy. She was lovnig and mean. She had a good heart.
Today, her good heart is failing.
She was sent home from the hospital to be comfortable. Her doctor is either a prick or a saint...I'm not sure which. Hopefully, she'll be pain-free.
Should I go back to help? I don't know. It will only bring on extreme stress and pain.
If I don't go, will I regret it? I don't know.
I feel very guilty about everything involving this horrid, bitter, mentally-ill woman. I have geared my own life toward NOT becoming her...including taking DAILY medication in order to make sure I sleep and don't suffer anxiety attacks such as those I had thorughout my 20's and early 30's. I was very ill during those times...just like she is ALL of the time.
She would take long walks at 3:30 a.m., peering into neighbors' windows to get a look inside at their decor. She would find pennies on the roadway and mail them to my young son, so he could save money for his next visit out to see her.
She began gluing magazine cut-outs on the exterior of her home about 8 years ago and has managed to cover the entire front of her house. Windows, doors, siding...it's all covered. I was embarrassed and amazed, all at the same time. Whenever I assign any collage word as a teacher, it is her I see in my mind's eye. Whenever I feel like picking up a rubber boot and hurling it through a window, (well, I've actually followed through on this act), it was her I saw.
I know her voice. It talked with me about sewing, shared horrible stories about other family members, made fun of me for gaining weight, laughed a little too loud at gatherings, forgot to say "thank you" for gifts, rode my mother for all of her shortcomings, and told me I was special. Her hands taught me to crochet. She made me clothes, quilts, blankets, rugs, and clothespin holders. She bought me a pack of gum and then took it away from me before I could open it, because I "wasn't as nice as she thought I should be." She asked if we wanted a Dilly Bar from Dq...and then drove us out to the highway to collect enough bottles to return for the deposit so we could buy our own bars.
NEXT MORNING UPDATE: Dorothy P. White-Gilmore passed away on May 12, 2209.
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