Theo is an idiot. I love him, but he's an idiot. I'm actually embarassed by his most recent behavior. He's currently weighing in at about 99 pounds. Granted, he comes from big genes (you should see his sisters and brothers! The photo of Ozzy is one of his brothers! He's a big boy, too! The photo of Rosey is interesting, because she is Theo's mom..and they look EXACTLY alike! Theo's belly almost drags on the ground, too!), but he doesn't do anything but sleep, look for food to steal, and poop.
Yesterday, he managed to eat an entire brand new big jar of Vasoline. I kid you not. Now, he's a bit misersable, as the petroleum jelly passes through his system. His behind is quite messy, with a lot of black, greasy smudges. I'm not going to bathe him, however, until it all passes through him, as bathing now would be a waste of time. We had a bunch of friends over this afternoon, sipping beers and munching on junk out on the deck...and Theo kept walking by. I swear he knows his ass is a mess! At one point, Carnivorous Hippy and I were chatting and Big Boy went to lie down nearby. He's so fat that he has to maneuver in an odd manner to lie down, and, of course, he had his posterior pointed in CH's direction! After a bit, he rolled over onto his backside in such a way that not only was his ass in clear view, but his yellow-stained wiener, too! I bet CH thinks we're idiots! Nah, she wouldn't think that. She's too much like me...things such as a black-butted, overweight basset hound just add to the spice of life!
There are times I actually hate our dogs. I know I shouldn't, but they can be SUCH PAINS! Jim Dandy has been pulling apart the fence, one board at a time. Dood sheds horribly in the house. Theo not only eats anything, but manages to make big messes in the process. Yesterday, he not only ate Vasoline, but also pulled out all of the recycling in the bin in the pantry, trying to get at a single empty catfood can! He's so sneaky! He manages to get in there as soon as I go around the corner! I think that when these dogs are dead and gone, we'll not replace them.
Right now, hubby is saying, "You watch it, Theo. Your days are numbered," as Theo has managed to sneak in the back sliding door we left open. It's our fault, you know, that he gets away with what he does...but, well, he's an idiot!