Did I Hear You Correctly?

While geocaching in an urban zone, I ran into a friend who was walking his dog on the path nearby. I mentioned how icky the area was, with beer cans, broken bottles, and old clothing that looked like it'd been used as toilet paper.

The friend said, "Yeah, well you better watch out for needles, too. There are a lot of indigenous folks who use this area at night." I smiled politely and walked away, very, very confused.

Later, it dawned on me, while dining with Carnivorous Hippy at The Baguette.

INDIGENT.

Oh, yeah...in case you're wondering, the artwork is an original by BoggyWoggy

An Anniversary Trip is Just an Excuse to...

Well, you can fill in the blank. We definitely enjoyed (wink, wink) getting away. Of course, we did a lot of hiking, geocaching, and sight-seeing, as well as eating, drinking, and relaxing.

One of the most interesting geocaches I've ever hunted for! This was located at Dungeoness State Park in Washington. The following photos will bring about understanding!

We found it online, while sitting in a pizza parlor in Port Townsend, taking advantage of the free Wi-Fi with my little laptop...We decided, hey, it's a good jaunt! Let's go get it! We drove miles and miles and miles until we came to the first hint...What an awesome name for a road! Being that the name of the cache was related to cell phones, we just KNEW we were heading the correct direction!

Ah-ha! A decoy! We spent more than 15 minutes trying to take this damn phone apart, thinking the geocache log sheet must be inside. Then, I spotted it! There was a mini-micro, the smallest I'd EVER seen, stashed near the decoy! Those dirty rascals! 30 minutes later, we were able to sign the log sheet.
Hubby's new t-shirt said it all! It really IS all about networking!
Lavendar fields near Sequim. They are preparing for the annual lavendar festival in the area! Woo-hoo! We walked through the fields, absorbing the scents!

This photo is near the place we stayed. This is Ludlow Bay, a place FULL of yachts and sailboats. Definitely not a "poor man's" vacation spot.
While hiking one of the numerous trails in the area, we came across the most lovely wild digitalis (aka Foxglove). Don't eat it!
Here we are! We'd just scored an amazing geocache that was more than 50 feet from where it should have been! Someone had ransacked the cache and left it in a very odd spot. We cleaned it up a bit and returned it to the location described on the website. Grrr...stupid muggles!

I loved every minute of getting away with my Handsome Husband! We're in the midst of a transition as a couple, now married 11 years. I've just recently said good-bye to my daughter, as she is off in Europe, traveling and visiting for 3.5 weeks. When she returns, she's off to college in Colorado. My son is now 16 and pretty independent, which is good and bad. I miss having good conversations with him. Hubby and I look forward to an upcoming "empty nest," but I get sad when I see babies sometimes. I'm sure others understand. It went by much too quickly...

The Olympic Penninsula in Northern Washington State is just about as beautiful a place as can possibly be!

We stayed at the Cottage on Ludlow Bay, a place I found on my favorite site, http://www.vrbo.com/

It was overpriced, but nice enough. It was quiet and hidden away in the midst of a hemlock forest, only about 75 yards from the bay front. The owners have a MANSION on the property that blocked our view, making it "The Cottage Behind the Trees Behind the Mansion" on Ludlow Bay.

We hiked on some beautiful trails, even coming across Ludlow Falls, where we also managed to scrape up another cache.

Then, we went to Port Townsend for a day. This is where we worked on the HARDEST geocache in the history of mankind. We worked on it for more than 2 hours, off and on. At one point, we left, doing some other caches and sight-seeing throughout Port Townsend. Then, we couldn't resist. We returned to the wharf and begin hunting again. It was the freakiest hide ever. Seriously! It was rated a difficulty of "4", but I believe it had to be a "5."
This is the view from the wharf where we found the cache called "Union Wharf." Below is the sign that was near the cache. I'm seriously wondering about the sick minds of some geocache hiders! Man! As our trip neared the end, we caught a ferry from Kingston over to Edmonds, WA. While waiting, cops were everywhere, along with their drug-sniffing K-9s. This dog was very good. He came up to my window and said, "Hey. How's it goin'?"

This is another ferry going the opposite direction from us. We're in the middle of the drink at this point. It was absolutely BEAUTIFUL weather and the trip was windy!

Our trip ended with an afternoon in Seattle. Hubb snapped this shot of Safeco Field as we drove downtown. We hit Pike's Market and ate little donuts at our favorite little donut place. If you've been there, you know what I'm talking about...

Ooo! What if it's in my eyes now?!

Poison Oak! P.O. I now call it FPO (YOU can figure out the "F" part!)

I spent a few bucks on Technu and can only hope it works!

I'm not kidding! We were in the midst of an FPO Ocean! I kept saying, "We'll be fine. The cache is only a few hundred feet away. We can make it. Just be careful. This shouldn't be a problem When people see poison oak (FPO) on our legs, they'll think it's cool, cause we can say we got it while out geocaching! Don't turn back, Carnivorous Hippy. We're almost there. Here, just push this big bush of oak (FPO) aside with your shoe. No problems. Oops. I just rubbed my eyes. Oh no! I saw you just pull up your sock! Shit!"

Arrgghh! A good day ended quickly. Ended up in the shower, stripping off everything and throwing it into the washer with DISHSOAP, hoping to salvage my favorite shorts. I scrubbed so hard on my arms and legs with Technu that I'm a little raw now. I just HOPE, HOPE, HOPE no blisters arise! I'm leaving on a trip with Handsome Husband tomorrow to the San Juan Islands! No FPO, please!

Am I the ONLY one who hates fireworks?

Oh, my dogs do, too.

I live in an area with closet rednecks all around, just waiting for an excuse to "pull ou' 'em M-80s I gots whilst doin' time in WA." Even my husband is one of them! While we were in Arkansas and Missouri a few years back, he bought himself a butt-load of fireworks that are illegal in OR. He actually put them into a box and shipped them back home, with a note on the outside that said, "FISHING LURES." Good grief. What a redneck.

My 3 big dogs are panting, whining, roaming about the house. I'm irritated with them and with the continuous obnoxious noises outside. I'm sleepy, but unable to sleep. Cracks, bangs, and pips...

Ugh.

I hate things that go pop.

Oh, but I love big booms, like dynamite and other bombs. Yeah, things that destroy. That'd be OK.

Geocaching is the Excuse...

Ah, being old and stupid is SO MUCH BETTER than being young and stupid. See, the way I look at it, youngsters and teenagers don't have fully developed frontal lobes, so every stupid thing they do is expected.

Old ladies, however, are supposed to have that fully-developed lobe set up and running. Therefore, when the OPT to do something stupid, it's completely unexcusable! They do it and if they get hurt, people listening to the tragic report on the evening news say, "Oh how stupid. I don't feel ONE BIT sorry for them!"

We started off at Central Park. We ditched our husbands and went right to 101, our favorite bar. We downed Willamette Brewing's Espresso Stout and headed out. It was already 10 p.m. We decided to capture "Ruffled Duck" first, the cache that had us fooled last week. Carnivorous Hippy pulled the Volvo right up to the curb, we stepped out, and had the cache-in-hand within 30 seconds. The reason this is significant it that last time we came here, it was full daylight and we turned over 2 newspaper stands, moved boulders, and crawled about on our hands and knees. This time, eh...

Then, we decided to capture "Reel Me In," the cache we'd also missed last week. However, it was veerrryyy dark and all we had was my little e-trex GPS (remember, I broke the Magellan) and my little crank flashlight. We saw lions and tigers, and bears! I mean it! However, remember, we are fully-brain-equipped at this age. So we continued down the path of dark and doom, searching for the cache more than 1/4 mile away. Man, are we dumb!

We found a shopping cart and decided to use it for some fun. We pushed it into the skate park. There was a homeless man sleeping nearby, but he didn't seem to hear a thing, as we whooped and hollered. At one point, I'm not sure how, but CH convinced me to climb into the contraption so she could "push me around" for awhile. Remember, fully-developed frontal lobe? Yeah, right.

She tried to kill me---or at least help me suffer a traumatic brain injury.

Bored with that, we then ventured deeper into trouble. We headed toward the cache, using the GPS, which indicated we'd have to head under the overpasses that help folks avoid Corvallis.

Under one bridge, we heard this weird, eerie, screeching sound. We kept going, however, even when CH spied reflective eyes. Eventually, it revealed itself to be an owl. Then, we got really scared, as we realized that this is probably the only place in Corvallis where people die at the hands of others, whose name should not be spoken. We turned around (frontal lobes kicked in) and headed back toward the geo-Volvo.

Then, being the idiots we are, we headed over to my place to watch the movie we'd just made. No joke. We're THAT stupid! I'm not going to post it, however, because my frontal lobe is functioning right now...

Someday...this'll be me!

I hope...
object width="425" height="344">

Happy Anniversary to My Handsome Husband and Me!

http://studenthome.nku.edu/~russelljo/flash/dudefalling.swf

11 years! The clip above shows what life has been like for us! Completely!

Hi, Mom! Can I ....?

Last night's scenario:
Daughter hates mother.
Daughter thinks mother is insane.
Daughter mocks mother.
Daughter tells mother that she is completely crazy and that she'll "Call the Cops" if mother touches her.
Cell phone rings and mother picks it up to turn it off.
Daughter says, "Don't touch my phone. You don't pay for it."
Mother says, as she takes the bread from Daughter's hand, "Don't eat that! You didn't pay for it."

Tonight's phone conversation:
Daughter: Hi, Mom. Is it OK if I go out for my birthday?
Mom: Whatever works for you, Honey.
Daughter: What does that mean?
Mom: It means whatever you want it to mean.
Daughter: So, can I stay out past midnight?
Mom: Why are you asking me? You snuck out from 1:00 a.m. to 4:00 a.m. the other night. Why would you ask my permission for anything?
Daughter: Because I want to know if it's OK to stay out until 2.
Mom: What am I supposed to say?
Daughter: You're supposed to tell me whether or not I can stay out until 2 a.m.
Mom: You came in at 4 a.m. the other morning. Why are you asking me this tonight?
Daughter: Because I always ask permission before I go out.

Pause...pause...pause
Mom: Do whatever works best for you, Honey.
Phones disconnect. Mom looks around the area for either an ugly, stupid dog to kick or for a chocolate eclair to gulp down. Opts for having Handsome Husband lock all of the exterior doors and windows. Wants to know what Beautiful Daughter will do when she comes home to a dark, completely sealed up house...that her mom and dad PAY FOR!
Handsome Husband points out a potential problem. Shit! He says, "What about Silly Son? You'll have to tell him that he cannot open any doors or windows for Beautiful Daughter."
Mom says, "We'll just make sure he has a nice, loud fan running in his room so he won't hear Beautiful Daughter when she comes calling at, oh, say, 3 a.m."
Handsome Husband and I BOTH know it won't work, but the plan seems fun and makes us feel in control for a minute or two. At this point, a minute or two is pretty, darned good.

Ebay Geocacher

Wah, wah, wah...

turns to...

goodie for me!

I won the Magellan on ebay. It wasn't as cheap as I'd wished, but I have it on the way, via FedEx.

It wasn't cheap, but it's worth it to me, cause Carnivorous Hippy and I are summer playmates and we like to hunt for stupid treasures under rocks, logs, within poison ivy and poopy trails. I think we must think we think other people think it's cool to do something that really is, well, stupid.

Oh, yeah---my car is now a Travel Bug

Big Party Tonight!

We're celebrating Beautiful Daughter's 18th Birthday and her graduation from CHS tonight! I've created 7 salads for the occasion, as well as purchased various breads, veggie snacks, crackers, and beverages! I've strung lights throughout many garden spaces, set up the fire pit area for s'mores, and set up tents for any sleep-over kids to hit when they can't keep their eyes open any longer. There are 2 big cheesecakes, chocolate cake, and much more!

Now, about this HOT WEATHER! See, the last time we threw a big shin-dig was on that Friday awhile back where the temp. soared above 100! More than 90 people came for the party and I was sick all of the next day, due to heat exhaustion!

Today, Handsome Husband will be installing the little window-unit AC I bought from my mother. Hope that helps...

I Drop Things

I do.

I drop glasses.

I drop plants in pots.

I drop keys.

I even drop my dirty clothes on the floor at the end of the day.

I don't think I've ever dropped a baby, but my mom dropped my youngest brother on his head when he was only 2 weeks old. She was standing in the backyard, smoking a cigarette. The cig fell and she wanted to grab it before it hit the ground. She dropped the baby, but saved the Kool 100!

Yesterday, however, topped all. I've been really, really sad about it. I dropped my Magellan Sportrak Color GPS Unit.

I've dropped it many times before. As a matter of fact, it was in ugly shape, with several types of tape holding the back on, a piece of blue tape holding the batteries in, and several chips on the front buttons. However, it has always managed to survive prior droppings. I even forgot it on the roof of my friend's car once while hiking in Northern California. We were driving along a gravel road near Mt. Shasta when I heard something bounce off her trunk! She quickly stopped and there is was, my GPS, broken into 3 pieces. I always seem to have duct tape with me, which is also called "The Substance of the Universe" for folks who are members of the SCA, and I put it back together!

This time it fell out of my backpack as I was coming into the house. Our large entry is all white, hard tile. BAM! It hit the tile on its head! I then watched as the Liquid Crystal Display broke and spread like ink all across the screen.

Since that time, I have driven to a freak-a-zoid's mobile home to look at another Magellan he had posted on Craigslist. OMG!!! The house was filled with cigarette smoke, a dog tried to bite me, and the unit wouldn't even turn on! I asked him if he'd been using it for hunting or geocaching and he said, "Nope. A buddy of mine owed me some money, so he gave me this, instead." It wasn't even the same unit as mine, but it was close.

Then, I found one on ebay and have been bidding throughout the day, hoping to win. Finally, I'm the highest bidder. See, the Sportrak Color is no longer manufactured, so I have to rely on finding a used model somewhere. Why try to get the same unit as I broke? Well, I've invested more than $100 in optional equipment, including a car charger, USB adaptor for uploading maps, and a holder for the car.

I hope I win on ebay. The original unit was about $395 at a sporting goods store. My current bid is $112.50.

Wah!

Making a List

Cop 1: Well, Officer Jim. Looks like we have another coping mom in the area.
Cop 2: I think we should avoid her for a few days, Bob.
Cop 1: Good coping strategy, Jim.
Cop 2: Let's go out for a martini after work.

Silly Son and Beautiful Daughter are back at the house for the week.

Immediately, my level of anxiety goes whack-o. I prepare myself for their return, saying a common mantra, "Oh, Lord of Nature, God of Calm, High Priestess of Conflict-Avoidance, give me peace!

The goal this week? Conflict avoidance.
The interior goal (the one in my brain cavity)? Calm.

The coping strategy? Nature.

However, Handsome Husband's first words to me this morning threw all of my goals out for a bit.
"Hey, when I got up this morning, the kids left all of the exterior doors open, there are eating utensils and bowls all over the living room and in the guest room, and the dogs were outside all night. I also don't think your daughter is in her bedroom. Maybe she was out all night."

Ack! My stomach began to roil
Biff! My eyes welled up.
Zing! I said, "This week's goals include conflict-avoidance, calm, and nature."

I repeated the mantra, over and over, but it didn't work very well. So, I stood up and said, "We have no power. We are but mere puppets on their stage. We cannot teach them anything at this point. We must duck and spin around in order to avoid the shit they will fling at us. Let's start right now. Repeat after me; 'conflict-avoidance-calm-nature, conflict-avoidance-calm-nature.'"

Hey! It kind of worked! Handsome Husband looked at me with fire in his eyes, then he grabbed his stuff and headed out for his truck. I returned to making my list of things-to-get-done-today, including several columns of overwhelming to-dos. For a brief and magical moment, life was very, very good.

I poured myself another cup of coffee and watched the variety of bird species fighting over seeds and nuts at the bird-feeding station right outside the big, bay, kitchen window.

Oh My God!
Birds have conflict!

When they land on the flat feeder, they jet their eyes and heads from side-to-side, looking for Rocket the Cat to suddenly spring at them! They look down just long enough to spy one pumpkin seed to grab, but they don't grab it. Instead, they squawk and screech, trying to lure out the dreaded hunter. Then, just as they feel comfort in dipping their beaks toward a morsel, BAM! Out of nowhere comes an awful, loud, and aggressive Scrub Jay! The jays are like my kids. I am like the stupid scared, nervous bird. Like me, the bird jumps away from the feeder, only to feel REALLY PISSED OFF that breakfast is not to be had. However, getting mad or feeling sad does no good. Now, the little weak bird is hungry, without food, and has wasted huge amounts of energy avoiding conflict with the cat...and is super-depressed and angry at the Scrub Jay...who doesn't give a care...so the little bird loses!

Now my goals for the week are completely blown! If my idea of having the Lord of Nature intervene on my part was to be effective, I would have to see that nature, itself, does not have conflict!

Now, about those other gods; God of Calm and High-Priestess of Conflict-Avoidance can come through for me, this will be a good week. I think I'll do these things in order to create the needed success:

1. Follow my list of things to accomplish to a "t."
2. Smile all day long.
3. Say, "Whatever suits your fancy," each time a teenager asks me a question.
4. Make use of the martini shaker at 6:00 each evening.
5. Go pull a weed from the ground, lay it on the roadway, and burn it with my super-cool, flame-thrower, Dragon Weeder contraption (the one with a 5-gallon propane tank attached) whenever I feel I am not in control. By burning a weed, I'll fulfill my goal of avoiding conflict. The weed can't scream or argue. It just simply will fry up, turn black, and float off with the wind. Then, the feeling of wasting my breath on arguing comes up, I'll be all calm and satisfied.

I Could Have Done It Myself!

$70!

That's what I paid to feel good about myself! When I look down and see that I haven't lost a single pound, in spite of all of the biking, working in the garden, walking, and such, I usually find myself doing something to my hair.

Usually, it involves getting a cut at a cheap hair salon, like Perfect Look, and coloring the be-jeezus out of it, using Loreal's Feria. I do a pretty good job, actually!

However, out of feeling down about my weight and such, I decided, "What the heck? I'll have it done by a professional."

What a waste!

The appointment took 1 hour and 45 minutes! She mixed all of these custom colors together, trimmed my hair, colored only parts of it, waited awhile, and then added some platinum bonde highlights.

Tah-dah!

It looks EXACTLY the same! No joke! I gave herthe money, including a tip, and walked out the door wondering WTF just happened!!!

That's a lot of perinneals on that there head of mine!

Poison Oak is Inevitable While Caching!

Remember yesterday's blog about dirty feet?Well, the toes on my left foot drove me INSANE last night as I was trying to sleep.

I finally got up and discovered they are covered with poison oak blisters!

That is why one should not geocache in sandals in Oregon!

Dirty Feet Syndrome

Is it just me, or are your feet crackly, crunchy, and filthy all summer? I went to buy new walking shoes today (aka "tennies") and was so shocked as I removed my Teva sandals! My heels and the balls of my feet were black! I immediately went over to the sock section of Big5 and took a pack of clean footies off the rack.

As I was putting on the socks, I noticed some other interesting details:

1. my toenails, which I painted back in early April, need painting. They were hideous!

2. I have several chipped and chopped nails! I wear sandals a lot while working in the garden.

3. the tops of my feet have odd tanning. I wear both Birkenstocks (Florida) and Tevas, which accounts for the striping.

4. the little toe is useless

5. my feet stink! Sandals made of that black rubber stuff do NOT help!

I know women who have absolutely BEAUTIFUL feet! It wouldn't even matter if their toenails were painted---their feet are awesome! I'll never be one of those women...