Behavior Modification for Dummies...

I usually never have this amount of time to dabble away. I'm having so much fun reading blogs and posting blogs...ugh. Spring Vacation is a good thing, especially when the weather is crappy like today. If it were sunny, I'd be out working in the gardens. You should hear about all of the great ideas hubby and I have for some new "garden rooms" on the side yard. Don't even get me started on my new vegetable extravaganza going in front of the shop/garden room area! It's going to be complete with some really cool chickens that will make Mr. Cirello madder than the barking dogs we used to keep in there.
By the way, when we bought the house in 2001, we spent about $1600 on materials and hired a young, strapping college fellow to help build this amazing dog enclosure for our stupid dogs (whom we love with a passion, mind you). Anyway, Jim Dandy, Dood, and Holmes (who's now dead and buried in the garden) barked at everything when we were not home...however, because we were not home, we didn't know this). Anyway, Mr. Cirello and a few other neighbors, without our knowing it, got together and came up with this ABSOLUTELY stupid plan. They went on-line and bought an anti-barking mechanism that would emit a horrendous high-pitch screech whenever a dog barked. Then, one night while we were hosting a dinner party on our back deck, Mr. C came over with the frickin' device. I'd had a few beers, so I listened to his little speech about how he was tired of our dogs barking at him whenever he came out to mow his lawn, blah, blah, blah...and how he and some others thought it would be good for us to try to device. I stepped into the house to compose myself...which I usually do not do, planned my words carefully, and said, "You have to be kidding! You fool! This device works when there is only 1 dog barking! If there are 3 dogs, don't you realize how STUPID this is!!??" He looked at me with the obvious look of, "what the heck are you talking about..." and I said, "If you were to think scientifically about behavior modification, which is what this stupid device is designed to do, you'd realize that it's designed to "punish" a barking dog by emitting the sound whenever there is a bark. Then, the dog would slowly begin to understand that whenever he barks, he will experience pain. But, if one dog is barking and the other 2 are just sitting there, scratching their butts, they'll hear the sound and think that it happens whenever they scratch their butts! Then, they'll stop scratching...and their butts will itch...and they will be too scared to scratch! That's cruel!"
He left. I don't care if I blew his mind away with my ultra-amazing scientific mind...but, all of this could have been solved by him simply coming over one day to let us know that our dogs barked a lot when we weren't home. I would have said, "Oh, goodness. Thanks for letting us know. I'll either put them in the garage when we're gone for short trips, or I'll move them to the backyard to give you some peace."
We moved the dogs into our backyard, where they have proceeded to turn our oasis into their memorial pooping grounds. But, I did put up a behavior modification device on the fence between our house and Mr. Cirellos. Whenever he acts like a stupid ass, it makes a barking sound.