My mother called this morning. We've had a very limited relationship since last August, basically so that I can maintain my personal sanity. I've felt a little bad about the decision I made to preserve myself...I used to call her 2-3 times each week, checking in and making sure she was OK. I used to pay many of her bills. I used to entertain her and include her in just about all events. Then, she was really, really mean to me...so mean that I ended up in a heap on my friend, Donna's, floor. Lots of work and lots of crying and a bit of counseling...and, now, well, I think about calling her every 3 weeks...and am very cautious when we talk. I know how to end a conversation carefully, but quickly and efficiently.
This morning she called, quite upset and very depressed. Things aren't going well in her life. I'm focused on listening, but not reacting. I had moment of urge to drive up to see her today, but, I reminded myself that I really want to work in the gardens today...and spend time in my own home, since it feels like I don't get to be here often. But, her situation is bad...but, there really is nothing I can do about it...I must remind myself of that fact. I can only wish her well and give a little advice (like for her to read "Care of the Soul," by Thomas Moore).
So, I'm here, letting it out...sort of telling others about it...and maintaining...technologically. Sort of weird, but it works, right?
I love my friends and I know they'll understand. Thanks, guys...