5/19/2007

Thoughts Survey...


Last night after a school program, a co-worker asked me to come and sit in her car for awhile, as she had something to say.
It appears that after school, our principal had asked her to meet in the office for a "one-on-one" discussion. Being a teacher for years, I can tell you that whenever a principal comes by your room in the morning, and says, "I need you to come to my office after school," it's never for a trophey or award. It's always something...either something a parent is upset about or that you've mistakenly left something "confidential" on top of the copier for everyone to see and you're in BIG trouble! The teacher, in the meantime, has a lump in her throat for the ENTIRE school day, along with a sick feeling in her stomach, wondering what it will be today...
Anyway, my friend went into the office. After the door was closed, the principal said a lot of very negative and mean things...such as, "It has come to my attention that you are a difficult person for many others to work with.Recently, 3 other co-workers have come to me to let me know that you have either hurt their feelings or made them feel nervous when they try to work with you." When my friend asked, "Who said this about me? Maybe I should talk with them and resolve this," the remark was made, "I am not at liberty to reveal that information."

Interviewers on national news programs are notorious for picking on folks by saying, "How do you feel about the fact that many others are questioning your motives?" or "Several people have expressed the opinion that you don't have a clue about your own job." If I were being interviewed, I'd say, "Who? Give me some solid evidence of this statement and I'll answer it!" It's just a way to air ones personal gripes in a passive-aggressive manner, isn't it?

So, here's my survey question:

Should a principal/boss/supervisor be allowed to say to you, "Others have come to tell me ____ about you," but not have to reveal whom those "others" are? Along with your "yes" or "no" answer, please give an explanation.

Oh, by the way, the teacher friend I spoke of at the start is an amazing teacher. Yes, she is curt and to the point, but, like me, she has 30 high-needs students in her classroom and very little support from the school district. We both devote our energy to our students, first, as that's who we're really there for...

5 comments:

The Carnivorous Hippy said...

Should a principal/boss/supervisor be allowed to say to you, "Others have come to tell me ____ about you," but not have to reveal whom those "others" are? Along with your "yes" or "no" answer, please give an explanation.

Hard to say. My first thought is Yes. Because, if it is true, the person needs to know. However the people talking about the "negative one" needs to understand that their comments are being taken seriously and if they are having this much difficulty with another staff member, so much so they can't handle it on their own. They will need to have a safe mediated meeting with the accusers, the accused and with a knowledgeable mediator. If the principal actually heard these comments and didn't follow up on them, that's negligible. How to follow up is where your particular principal is dropping the ball.
BUT... if she just has an axe to grind and she's just making stuff up, there's no one to mediate with but herself and the accused....follow?
Sorry to hear your friend went through that humiliating experience.

Vita said...

Woggy, I think Carni means "negligent" instead of negligable. Don't you?

The Carnivorous Hippy said...

Will you be my executer? Woggy will understand that one.
Vita thanks for your tireless efforts on saving the world from bad grammer : )
Ima go now.

Stomper Girl said...

I agree that it is really hard to defend yourself against faceless accusers but I don't think the Principal could reveal the identities. But it is important for the Principal to realise there are 2 sides of every story and he/she ought to have given your colleague a chance to put her side across.

BoggyWoggy said...

Ah-ha...a union meeting tonight revealed that this principal has done this to SEVERAL folks! People have been too embarassed to admit it to their colleagues...but, this afternoon, the tears started flowing. It seems the "many others had said x-y-z" about you," is a crock.
I'm so ready for her to leave. I'm sorry for sounding negative...but, if you had to work with this person for 2 years, you, too, would feel pretty negative.