I Used to Think They Were the Most Amazing Kids in the World!

Now?

Not so much.

I had always believed that I'd be a very lucky mom, whose children behaved and followed all of the rules, up until they, themselves, became parents.

NOT!

Cool Son got his driver's license yesterday. We drove out to the DMV, he took the driving portion of the test, I paid the mega-bucks to get him the little card, and off we went.

When we got home, it was so funny to hear him say, "Hey, Mom, we're out of chocolate soy milk. I think I better head over to Safeway to get some more." Of course I let him go.

Beautiful Daughter and I began laughing after he left. I said, "Hey. Wanna bet he gets in a wreck in the Safeway parking lot?"

Got you! He came home safe and sound, with no dents or dings to be found.

Then, he said, "Hey, Mom, can I drive into town to show my friends that I now have my license?" Of course I let him go.

Corvallis isn't a mega-city. It's "large," but not large enough to mask our stupid children from many-a-witness. In Cool Son's case, he was seen by the ultimate witness---my husband.

Handsome husban called me around 4:30. He said, "Hey, I was driving down 10th Street when I say your minivan cruising along. There were 2 little heads in the front seats. I stopped as it pulled up to a stop sign and said, 'Hey, there, ___________.' Obviously ________ looked a bit nervous, as I followed up with, ' Aren't you supposed to wait 6 months to drive with friends in the car?'"

Now, let's back up a little...the law CLEARLY states that one must wait 6 full months after receiving a driver's license before driving with non-family members as passengers in a vehicle. Cool Son knew this. We'd discussed it a couple of years ago when Beautiful Daughter got her license...and, well, honestly, I remember saying to him, "Sure, you can drive into town. Don't pic up any friends, though."

Cool Son was napping on the couch. I calmly walked in and tapped his forehead. I said, "I thought you were different." He opened one eye, barely, and said, "What are you talking about?" I said, "I thought you'd be the kid in this family who followed simple rules."The look on his face was PRICELESS!!! I honestly wish I'd had a camera! It's one of those moments you think about when you hear Styx singing, "The jig is up, the news is out, they've finally found me. The renegade who had it made..."

I then walked over to the family calendar in the kitchen and wrote, in all caps with a Sharpie, "_____-NO CAR" and drew an arrow from Wednesday to Wednesday.I used to get so stressed out about laying down the law with my kids. Now, I actually feel some pleasure when saying something that goes like this: "I hate to be the one to burst your pride bubble, but you won't be driving for 1 full week. Oh, and you've only had your license for 5 hours!"Bwaaa-ha-ha-ha!