If You Think THAT'S Bad...

Time to be humbled a bit.
Went out for drinks and appetizers with my good, artsy friend. My son describes her as a "Stepford Wife." I really like her, however. She's neurotic, just like me, and makes more messes while cleaning her house, which means it's actually better when she doesn't clean it!

Anyway, we went to Iovino's and sat at a window seat near the bar. I had my favorite Bavarian Hefeweizen and she had a "foo-foo" drink. We chatted, laughed, and told secrets. I had noticed an odd bruise on her neck, as well as a big, swollen-looking lumpy thing, but didn't say anything.

We'd been talking for about an hour when she said, "Yeah, well, I had to have a biopsy done on a tumor on my neck."

WHAT???!!!

For me, the laughter stopped. She said, "Don't worry, it's probably nothing."

NOTHING! There's a huge lump on her throat with 6-7 holes in it from being poked and jabbed!

She said, "The doctor told me it is an "active" cancerous tumor, but no details at this time. He's going to call me next week with results." She sipped from her foo-foo drink and batted her eyes.

I said, "Did the biopsy hurt?"

Her response: "Good God! They told me, 'Nothing to worry about. This won't hurt.' Those LIARS! When he poked the damn needle in me, my friend Jenny was with me. She was holding my hand. I just about broke hers as I screamed, 'F-n, s**t, you d*mn lying F***er!' at the technician with the needle." I mean, I really belted out some foul language, literally in his face!Jenny told me that everyone in the waiting room was staring at us as we exited the examining room."
My friend said she didn't notice, as she was flipping out from the pain. She said the needle was 4 inches long and she thinks it actually pierced her trachea!

I have nothing to complain about this evening.

Probably nothing tomorrow, as well.

Except that my Beautiful Daughter will be returning from Europe. Now MY vacation is over...